Erectile Dysfunction: is it Necessary to Discuss it in the Couple!

Why don’t Men Discuss it with Women?

Nowadays, in many couples sexual matters are discussed openly. And still, when it comes to problems in bed, people, especially men, often become withdrawn and short spoken. Men don’t like to share their difficulties associated with the loss of sex power for several reasons:
  • Sexual weakness is considered by them as something shameful, something that makes them less masculine and more vulnerable.
  • They are afraid of a wrong reaction of their partners. Some women tend to express their pity or offend men in some other way that makes him feel humiliated.
  • They don’t feel enough support and understanding from the part of their second halves or are not confident in their strong devotion and love.
Women, in their turn, also do some mistakes when they hear the news of sexual problems from their partners, because they just don’t know what erectile dysfunction really is.

What is Erectile Dysfunction?

Erectile Dysfunction: is it Necessary to Discuss it in the Couple!First and foremost, it is necessary to understand if a man has erectile dysfunction, it doesn’t mean that he has lost its masculinity, physical strength, sex drive, or he doesn’t love and want his second half anymore. Erection is just a physiologic process based on a certain physiologic mechanism. If at some stage this mechanism is disturbed, ED occurs. The reasons for it can vary, but the most common ones are the following:
  • In most cases erectile dysfunction is associated with a disturbed circulation of blood. And the quality of circulation depends of lifestyle, nutrition, blood pressure, BMI, cholesterol level, heart disorders and many other factors. When the pelvis area is not supplied with blood at a due level, penis is not filled with blood when the man gets aroused and erection doesn’t occur.
  • Sometimes the problem is caused by reduced testosterone. If it is the cause, ED is commonly accompanied with a low sex drive and overall apathy. Hormonal imbalance often leads to declining of the male sexual function.
  • Finally, there can be a “false” erectile dysfunction, when a man is healthy physically, but has difficulties with reaching or maintaining an erection for some inner reasons: fatigue, stress, anxiety, fear, complexes or inhibitions. In this case, the problem usually disappears as soon as the reason is eliminated.
To sum it up, erectile dysfunction is not something that a man needs to be ashamed of. It is not a sign of his incapacity or invalidity. It is even not a disease in the full sense of this word. It is usually a symptom or an indicator of a problem – physical or psychological. And like any problem it can be resolved.

Why and How to Discuss the Problem of ED

The topic of sexual weakness can be not too pleasant to discuss. However, stonewalling can be much worse. When a woman doesn’t understand what is happening, she may decide that something is wrong in their relations. She may blame herself or her partner, trying to find out the true reason of changes in his behavior. Mutual misunderstanding will only increase the distance between the partners. That is why an open and sincere conversation is the best way out of the situation. Of course, first of all, if you suspect erectile dysfunction you must consult a specialist. Self-medication is not acceptable. If the diagnosis is confirmed, then don’t delay the conversation for too long. But don’t make a tragedy out of this. If you don’t know what to say, you may use some universal formulations:
  • “I’ve been at a doctor and he put a diagnosis – erectile dysfunction. It’s not impotence, but our intimate life will change a little, because I’ll need to take meds temporarily.”
  • “You know, I don’t want to have any secrets from you, that’s why I’ve decided to tell you the truth. You must have noticed that our sex life became less intensive. No, I don’t have an affair and I still love as passionately as ever, but it’s all about my health. I hope you’ll understand and support me, because I really need it”.
The main thing that you need to explain to your partner is that you still can live sexual life and can have children, but you’ll need some medical support, and a sort of adhere to a schedule in terms of planning your sexual activity.